So it's 5:30 AM on Saturday morning and I should have been asleep 3 hours ago, but sometimes I get going and motivated and don't feel much desire to sleep, exhausted as I may be. I realize as a college student I have a lot of things pulling at my attention, and that I really have no idea how to handle them. This week has been more variegated in how my motivations and priorities have shifted than most, but I still deal with it week to week. Or day to day. School is usually number one with church, but school takes a lot more time in my day than anything when I'm doing it right. But then I want to develop my hobbies. Or worry about my lacrosse team. Or find a job. Or learn new skills, like web coding/design. Or get more freelance work done. Or spend more time with friends. Or play, like rock climbing or something. Or the endless bachelor pursuit of the opposite sex. And some of these will really grab complete hold of me for days or hours and nothing can distract me, and everything gets out of whack.
First off, my church is very important to me, and I hope to always make it a foundational priority. But it doesn't require the same time demands as it did as a missionary, and school takes tons of time. I find that my classes are quite rigorous, and grad school is a must for career success. I can't leave BYU as a with a BS in biophysics and expect much to come of it. The issue is that I'm so bad at making it all happen. I work hard in school, but never hard enough. And here we get to where my thoughts started to find some unifying glue.
My mother, a wonderful woman who I do not appreciate enough, returned to BYU when I was 15 or 16 to finish her undergrad in psychology at BYU. Because I was still in high school, and a 3.8 required maybe, on a tough week, 5 or 6 hours of homework a week, I did not appreciate the rigors of college. My mom would come home from school, an hour away, often quite late at night. One time I did the math (I do love math) and it was a solid 17 hours that my mom spent on campus. This was unfathomable to a high schooler that cruised through school and got into BYU without much effort.
I'm not going to talk about my grades and how well I'm doing, but about what my mom accomplished. She had 2 kids still at home, and a husband and responsibilities that are greater than pretty much any of mine. I am single. She had been a full-time mom for over 25 years or so. And she got amazing grades. Universities in general are taxing and time-consuming; BYU is in the upper echelon of difficulty, and that's not a pride thing. Transfer students are always at least slightly surprised at how tough BYU is, and usually more so. This is not the land of easy As, it's hard work and focus. My mom did it. She got into grad school and worked her tail off, and now I get how hard it is.
So when I talk about priorities, I realize that adults make far better students than kids like me. My mom had spent over half her life as a mother by that point and probably knew from years of experience what was important for her, her family and how she raised her children. That translated to knowing how to use her time as best as she could when she was a student. She had great results. I don't feel like I know how to do that, and I'm not always dedicated enough to try. One week I can be on fire with school, getting productive study done. Other weeks are like this one - I have wasted a lot of time.
I really believe that part of being a grown-up is knowing how to value the most important parts of your life. No success with my lacrosse team is going to compensate for a poor GPA this semester. Developing relationships with people, rewarding as that may be, will not replace the hefty blessings of being faithful in my worship. There are really only 2 or 3 things at a time we can devote the full weight of our focus and attention, and we can be really good and productive at those things. But it is so easy to let the other things we are interested in or care about take us away from that. I'm a 22-year-old, and I am easily blown about by whatever catches my fancy; my mom was a rock, and she didn't stray from what she needed to do to get into grad school. And I didn't really think about that or understand until about 15 minutes ago. Practice makes perfect, and that definitely applies to how well we determine how best to use our time. Busy people get the most done, so I'll get proactive and get some sleep so I can figure out my life tomorrow. Such a challenge to be young and dealing with all of this, but that's a weak complaint.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Sunday, December 5, 2010
December = Christmas
December is such an up and down month. I mean, Christmas is the best. But finals are terrible. I'm in the throes of intense study at the moment, and I cannot wait to be free. I'm done December 15th, and this Christmas break could be one of the best ever. 10 more days! 10 more days!
December has also had a lot of meaning for me in the recent past. December 2nd, last Thursday, was the 3 year anniversary of a very difficult family tragedy, one that necessitated me flying home from my full-time mission for a brief period (I was home for something like 33 hours), which is tremendously unusual. That was '07, for those of you who don't want to do the math. I was serving in Appleton, Wisconsin and really got thrown for a loop. I was four months into my mission and was enjoying a new area with wonderful people, and this tossed me into an emotional blankness or something. I don't really know, I just wasn't myself for a few months. It wasn't an easy month for me or my family.
Skip forward a year. December of '08 was very different. I was serving with Jerry Lo in central Wisconsin in a city called Wausau. I had been there since mid-June, and knew I was going to be leaving soon. Jerry had been my companion since early October, and he was a stud. We were working hard and making good progress. I could get into some stories about who we were working with and all that, but, I don't feel like it.
I had really recovered from whatever emotional trauma had trapped me for a couple months. I had for quite some time, I think, and was really in the high point of my mission. Jerry and I had a lot of opportunities to volunteer, either with the Hmong or doing more awesome stuff, like freezing our bums off for 2 or 3 hours singing carols in the parking garage of a mall in Wausau, WI for the Salvation Army. Sorry, long sentence. I was a missionary, so naturally my activities were very different than they are as a college student.
But the best part of that December was how much Christmas meant to me. Now, I know we criticize the commercialization of Christmas and all that, and we lose focus on the real meaning of the holiday. I suppose that's true. At the same time, Christmas has been perpetuated into a month-long event, culminating with a glorious December 25th. But this December was the best I'd ever had, and will be hard to beat. Christmas was everywhere for me, and I loved it.
I don't often discuss my religion in such a public place, so this feels a bit like going out on a limb for me. About a year into my mission, I decided I was really going to get strict on a couple rules that I felt were struggles for me. I decided I was only going to listen to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir or talks by general authorities of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (my church, for the slim possibility someone not of my faith is reading my blog). These were a bit stricter than the rules of my mission, but I wanted to be sure I was listening to the best things, the things that would help me be the best missionary I could be.
I think that might have driven Jerry Lo a bit crazy. I mean, I had like 3 or 5 MoTab CDs or something. Not many. But my parents sent me a Christmas CD at some point. I don't play Christmas music out of season, but that CD got a lot of plays that month. We lived about 15 miles outside of Wausau with some other missionaries at a member's home. It was awesome. Wausau is a very cold place, and very snowy. So we'd be done for the day at around 9, and we'd have this beautiful drive back home every night and listen to this music that was perfect for the situation. With all the other things we were doing, teaching and serving and volunteering, Christ became a really central part of the month in every way. I hadn't experience a Christmas season quite like that before.
This gets a bit scriptural right here. But it's Sunday, and I thought about this at church, so there's my justification. One thing that amazes me in the Book of Mormon is the people who had left the Holy Land, but still had tremendous faith in Christ. Something like 80% of the book takes place before the atonement of Christ, but they teach and believe as though it had already happened. I feel like it's so much easier now. We have the New Testament, and even non-Christians recognize the reality of Jesus Christ. But when I think of Christmas, I think of those people in the Book of Mormon, who are threatened with death because of their faith, and they wait for the sign of Christ's birth in the heavens. That's Christmas to me. I mean, presents are great, being home is lovely, I like the new family tradition of skiing/snowboarding on Christmas eve, but if one thing encapsulates all that Christmas means to me, it's that section of the Book of Mormon. For me, it puts the birth of Christ in context. We celebrate His birth every year, but we (rightfully) spend most of our time thinking about the ministry, teachings and atonement of Christ. Still, few things affect me more than the idea of these good people in the scriptures who are really put to the test, who really have to choose which side of the line to stand on. And that sign in the heavens signaled the life of the greatest man who ever lived, and spared the lives of the faithful Christians on the American continent.
So that's what Christmas was for me that year. It was this recurring thought that stayed with me every day, and when the 26th hit, the magic kind of felt lacking. But for 25 days of December, Christmas was this constant, invigorating thread. And it wasn't an easy month as far as missionary work goes. Lo and I had some difficult stuff fall apart with people we were teaching, and I still think about some of those people. But all the same, it was a great time. We really knew what drove us as missionaries, and the miracle of Christ's birth had never been so meaningful to me. I'm tremendously grateful for that.
I won't have the same opportunities I did 2 years ago. I was a full-time missionary, and my entire life was devoted to that (well, it was supposed to be). Now I'm spending my second December back home, trying to get ready for some exams that could easily kick my butt, and plenty of other distractions come and go. Last year I got to go back to Wisconsin and see a wonderful family right before Christmas, which I won't be able to do this year. Still, at church today, I was reminded of what this month means to me if I take a couple of minutes to think about it.
I hope everybody gets a chance to have Christmas worm its way into their hearts this December. It's an awesome holiday, and if we let the hustle and bustle of shopping derail it for us, that's our fault. I don't know what makes Christmas special for everybody. I know why I love it, and I'm glad it isn't some little 2-day event on the 24th and 25th that is easily forgotten. It's everywhere during December! I love it! Hope the Christmas season goes swimmingly for everyone this year.
December has also had a lot of meaning for me in the recent past. December 2nd, last Thursday, was the 3 year anniversary of a very difficult family tragedy, one that necessitated me flying home from my full-time mission for a brief period (I was home for something like 33 hours), which is tremendously unusual. That was '07, for those of you who don't want to do the math. I was serving in Appleton, Wisconsin and really got thrown for a loop. I was four months into my mission and was enjoying a new area with wonderful people, and this tossed me into an emotional blankness or something. I don't really know, I just wasn't myself for a few months. It wasn't an easy month for me or my family.
Skip forward a year. December of '08 was very different. I was serving with Jerry Lo in central Wisconsin in a city called Wausau. I had been there since mid-June, and knew I was going to be leaving soon. Jerry had been my companion since early October, and he was a stud. We were working hard and making good progress. I could get into some stories about who we were working with and all that, but, I don't feel like it.
I had really recovered from whatever emotional trauma had trapped me for a couple months. I had for quite some time, I think, and was really in the high point of my mission. Jerry and I had a lot of opportunities to volunteer, either with the Hmong or doing more awesome stuff, like freezing our bums off for 2 or 3 hours singing carols in the parking garage of a mall in Wausau, WI for the Salvation Army. Sorry, long sentence. I was a missionary, so naturally my activities were very different than they are as a college student.
But the best part of that December was how much Christmas meant to me. Now, I know we criticize the commercialization of Christmas and all that, and we lose focus on the real meaning of the holiday. I suppose that's true. At the same time, Christmas has been perpetuated into a month-long event, culminating with a glorious December 25th. But this December was the best I'd ever had, and will be hard to beat. Christmas was everywhere for me, and I loved it.
I don't often discuss my religion in such a public place, so this feels a bit like going out on a limb for me. About a year into my mission, I decided I was really going to get strict on a couple rules that I felt were struggles for me. I decided I was only going to listen to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir or talks by general authorities of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (my church, for the slim possibility someone not of my faith is reading my blog). These were a bit stricter than the rules of my mission, but I wanted to be sure I was listening to the best things, the things that would help me be the best missionary I could be.
I think that might have driven Jerry Lo a bit crazy. I mean, I had like 3 or 5 MoTab CDs or something. Not many. But my parents sent me a Christmas CD at some point. I don't play Christmas music out of season, but that CD got a lot of plays that month. We lived about 15 miles outside of Wausau with some other missionaries at a member's home. It was awesome. Wausau is a very cold place, and very snowy. So we'd be done for the day at around 9, and we'd have this beautiful drive back home every night and listen to this music that was perfect for the situation. With all the other things we were doing, teaching and serving and volunteering, Christ became a really central part of the month in every way. I hadn't experience a Christmas season quite like that before.
This gets a bit scriptural right here. But it's Sunday, and I thought about this at church, so there's my justification. One thing that amazes me in the Book of Mormon is the people who had left the Holy Land, but still had tremendous faith in Christ. Something like 80% of the book takes place before the atonement of Christ, but they teach and believe as though it had already happened. I feel like it's so much easier now. We have the New Testament, and even non-Christians recognize the reality of Jesus Christ. But when I think of Christmas, I think of those people in the Book of Mormon, who are threatened with death because of their faith, and they wait for the sign of Christ's birth in the heavens. That's Christmas to me. I mean, presents are great, being home is lovely, I like the new family tradition of skiing/snowboarding on Christmas eve, but if one thing encapsulates all that Christmas means to me, it's that section of the Book of Mormon. For me, it puts the birth of Christ in context. We celebrate His birth every year, but we (rightfully) spend most of our time thinking about the ministry, teachings and atonement of Christ. Still, few things affect me more than the idea of these good people in the scriptures who are really put to the test, who really have to choose which side of the line to stand on. And that sign in the heavens signaled the life of the greatest man who ever lived, and spared the lives of the faithful Christians on the American continent.
So that's what Christmas was for me that year. It was this recurring thought that stayed with me every day, and when the 26th hit, the magic kind of felt lacking. But for 25 days of December, Christmas was this constant, invigorating thread. And it wasn't an easy month as far as missionary work goes. Lo and I had some difficult stuff fall apart with people we were teaching, and I still think about some of those people. But all the same, it was a great time. We really knew what drove us as missionaries, and the miracle of Christ's birth had never been so meaningful to me. I'm tremendously grateful for that.
I won't have the same opportunities I did 2 years ago. I was a full-time missionary, and my entire life was devoted to that (well, it was supposed to be). Now I'm spending my second December back home, trying to get ready for some exams that could easily kick my butt, and plenty of other distractions come and go. Last year I got to go back to Wisconsin and see a wonderful family right before Christmas, which I won't be able to do this year. Still, at church today, I was reminded of what this month means to me if I take a couple of minutes to think about it.
I hope everybody gets a chance to have Christmas worm its way into their hearts this December. It's an awesome holiday, and if we let the hustle and bustle of shopping derail it for us, that's our fault. I don't know what makes Christmas special for everybody. I know why I love it, and I'm glad it isn't some little 2-day event on the 24th and 25th that is easily forgotten. It's everywhere during December! I love it! Hope the Christmas season goes swimmingly for everyone this year.
Friday, November 12, 2010
Change
I don’t always know why I write these and then put them on the internet where anyone can find it (that is, if they look hard enough). I’m always surprised when people tell me they’ve read something from my blog, and a bit embarrassed. But it’s cathartic for me, so I do it all the same, and saving it away on my hard drive feels like a waste. This entry is mainly about random stuff in my life, so, Rachael, skip on by. I’ll do an entry with pictures or something next week to make up for all this text.
I’ve been thinking about this for kind of awhile, and I’m caught up on my homework so I figured I’d put something down about it today. I used to think I wasn’t too scared of change, and that I could handle it just fine. When I moved from Vermont to Utah, I was excited and amped for a new life in a new place, only to be pretty bored for three months while I waited for summer break to be over. I remember when I was about 9 or 10, we were talking about my big brother heading off for school in Idaho, 2,000 miles away. I think it finally hit me how different it would be when he was actually gone, and I started balling. I was young, so please withhold judgment! But the older I get, the more life isn’t what I ever thought it would be. I mean, lots of things are consistent, but the 10-year-old or 15-year-old me didn’t expect life to be the way it is now.
I’m pretty sure it’s reasonable to be scared of change. It’s not the best approach, sure, but reasonable. We get comfortable, we like the way things are in our life, and then either we catalyze something dramatic or something happens to us. Sometimes I’m grateful for the change that takes place. Sometimes I’m upset or frustrated, sometimes I’m not sure how to react, and a lot of the time it’s a mix of all of that.
I like a nice long, quiet drive, and I usually get those when I head home for dinner with my family, about an hour from where I go to school. Around February I changed my major from industrial design to biophysics, from getting a BFA to a BS, from an art major that relied on technical skill and creativity to science and math. I was excited, but it was a big switch. I still love design, just not as a career. Well, that was all fine and good, because I didn’t have to really act on that change until school started in the fall. About 6 to 8 weeks ago I was driving home, pretty scared about what had transpired through the first few weeks of school. I was mentally lost, getting my butt kicked my calculus, confused by biology and losing hair for the first time ever (don’t worry, it’s not happening anymore) because of all the stress. Industrial design was really, really hard. But it was a completely different challenge in relation to all the science classes I as taking. So I went from excited about a change and the future it held to scared about what could happen. I still am, but that has been abated somewhat with some different approaches to school and patience with my current shortcomings.
That wasn’t really the part I was most scared of. My grades aren’t great, but they aren’t bad either, so it’s not like another B was going to kill me. But my future, the life I want to have, looked out of reach. I had already spent 7 years thinking of myself as an industrial designer, a decision I had made at 14 and had pursued for a third of my life. The thought of failing or quitting again, not making it to a good grad school (still 3 years away for me) and being unable to provide for myself and eventually a family was terrifying. It would mean another huge change in how my life was going to turn out. It took me 2 months to decide to leave the industrial design program and move forward. When it comes to my education and career, I don’t make decisions lightly, and I put a lot of thought into what will happen. I have a plan for what will take place over the next 5 or 10 years, and I try not to let any doubt about my path creep in. Second guessing myself would drive me crazy. So naturally, when I wasn’t doing as well as I had thought, and I wasn’t as smart as I thought, I was worried another change was coming. Well currently, I’m sticking with the plan. We’ll see what happens by April ’11.
I guess it just comes down to the fact that I fear change. I think we all are scared of uncertainty, and with good reason. But a lot of good can come of it. My life would not be the way it is right now, and I don’t think it would be nearly as good as it is now, if we hadn’t moved across the country 7 years ago. It was hard on me, hard on my family and took awhile for life to look positive. A smaller example that I still think of sometimes happened when I was 16: I was obsessed with lacrosse and played about 9 months out of the year. I was getting ready to sign up for winter league only to find out that the games would be played in Park City, too far for me to drive in the winter. My parents wouldn’t let me sign up, and I was pretty peeved. I had tried out for Team Utah a couple of weeks earlier but blown it off; I didn’t think I’d make it. Well, about a week after my parents gave me the news, I was invited to play with Team Utah, with practices 10 minutes from my house in a much more competitive and well-coached league. A lot of the kids I played against are now on the BYU team, and one was an all-American. Better than the rag-tag games played in the usual winter league, and lots more fun. Something negative changed in my life, but a positive opportunity rose from it. We can’t really predict the outcomes.
I can’t predict what will happen with my career path. And I know change is scary. If it’s big, it’s bound to be so. I know it’s hard when someone breaks our heart, or we lose our job, or someone we love dies or whatever may come our way, but it’ll all be okay. I know I’ve said that to friends in the past, and when it comes my way as it is right now, it’s hard to believe it. But I think we can all look back at the hard stuff that’s happened in our lives and generally see that at least some good came of the situation. So if a relationship with a friend falls apart, or our job goes south, or your fiancé bails on you, there’s something better coming. I believe in God, and I believe he wants our lives to be happy. If we keep trying, keep trusting something good will come of the changes in our lives, then the good will come. You’ll find a better job, you’ll meet someone better who’ll make you the happiest you’ve ever been, you’ll just find a way to have a better life than you did before, at least in some, if not most regards. I know my life hasn’t been much of a struggle, really; I mean, I’ve had some hard things happen, and so has my family, and a lot of the changes that have come have led to some real trials, but overall I’ve been strengthened and blessed for it. Whatever changes or stressed may come our way, just keep on pushing and it will all work out.
Monday, August 16, 2010
Yup, I still obsess about music.
So, every year I latch on to like, 5 to 10 albums and listen to them all the time. And luckily, I get to see almost all those bands this year. And I thought I'd enlighten the whole lot of you, and it won't even be that long of a post.
Surfer Blood - Astro Coast (http://www.insound.com/Surfer_Blood_Astro_Coast_LP/productmain/p/INS68489/)
So good! The show is $12 and is coming up in October. And I got this album at Amoeba Music in San Francisco during Record Store Day, and it's on white vinyl. It's a pretty young band, really fun to listen to and all that. They've clearly taken the whole gamut of influences from the indie rock pantheon, but they still sound like their own. They were my soundtrack for late nights in the industrial design workshop during winter semester. '
Review:
http://www.cokemachineglow.com/record_review/5135/surferblood-astrocoast-2010
New Pornographers - Together
http://www.insound.com/The_New_Pornographers_Together_LP/productmain/p/INS72970/
I'm listening to this right now. I saw the NPs at Twilight two and a half weeks ago, and it was easily the best show of the series thus far, at least in my opinion. I love Mass Romantic and Twin Cinema, but I think this is more listenable. And underrated. Its strongest tracks don't match the best of Mass Romantic (Letters from an Occupant) or Twin Cinema (Bleeding Heart Show, Stacked Crooked), but its strength is that it is very strong all the way through. And the Dan Bejar tracks rock. He was the best at the concert! I highly recommend. I can't put this one down. And no, they aren't pornographic. It's just a dumb name. Like Spoon. What kind of name is Spoon (and that was a freaking great concert, holy cow)?
Concert review:
http://www.cokemachineglow.com/feature/5552/concert-newpornographers-2010
Album review:
http://www.cokemachineglow.com/record_review/5388/newpornographers-together-2010
The National - High Violet
http://www.insound.com/The_National_High_Violet_2xLP/productmain/p/INS73407/
I have the album with me in my office. Gorgeous! Purple LPs, beautiful print and layout. I love the way it looks, and it's my favorite National album thus far. Which is saying something, because I loved Alligator and Boxer quite a bit. But man, this album has some seriously sky-high moments, especially England and Conversation 16. My brother got me hooked on this when I went to visit him (and Thom Yorke, of course) in California. We listened to two songs on repeat on the drive up to San Francisco, and that got me hooked. Super good.
Album review:
http://www.cokemachineglow.com/record_review/5416/national-highviolet-2010
Flying Lotus - Cosmogramma
http://www.insound.com/Flying_Lotus_Cosmogramma_LP/productmain/p/INS73788/
So good! Oh my gosh. I usually end up listening to this at least twice in a row every time I hear it. I mean, I think the packaging for Los Angeles is a little prettier, but whatever, this album is so amazing. FlyLo has such an ear. I saw him open for Thom Yorke in April, and it was so sweet. I even have the man's autograph, which I cherish. Flying Lotus is the future. You can hear the J Dilla influence, and I love love love this album. I don't really know how to describe it. I'm not much of a writer. But it is super good.
Album review:
http://www.cokemachineglow.com/record_review/5414/flyinglotus-cosmogramma-2010
Menomena - Mines
http://www.insound.com/Menomena_Mines_2xLP/productmain/p/INS77490/
Oh my gosh this is good. I downloaded it because I heard it was pretty solid, and they're coming in October. I was in for a crazy delicious treat. The lyrics are so deep and relatable, and it is great. In the couple of weeks I've had this album I've probably listened to it 10 or 12 times, and now I'm getting Friend and Foe (2007) to get ready for the concert I will definitely be attending. I'll buy the album at the show and get them to sign it, I think. Super good.
Album review:
http://www.cokemachineglow.com/record_review/5540/menomena-mines-2010
So, I'd say these are my top 5 of the year thus far, but I can't narrow it down to a particular order. I don't listen to every new album, and I'm just starting on Arcade Fire's Suburbs. But these albums are worth the time. I've listened to every one at least 10 times, and some 20 or more, which I don't do unless it's a sweet album. Screw anything Pitchfork says, they didn't BNM Menomena or New Pornographers, but I doubt you'll find albums as fun to listen to anywhere else. Screw you, Vampire Weekend, Neon Indian, Girls, et cetera. I'm sure people love that music. But this is better! Promise! And the only band I won't be seeing out of these this year is The National. I think my older brother has seen them 2 or 3 times. The blessings of living in Bay Area.
Buy these albums! See these bands! If you like that kind of music, at least. AND SONIC YOUTH IS COMING!!!
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
The art of theft
The title's a word joke. But not a very good one.
So the other day I was thinking a bunch about illegal downloading of music, concerts and actual, physical pieces of art. And how to correlate the theft of those things.
Well, we all know paintings are super valuable, as there is only one original. But I think music and the visual art world have some similarities.
First, recorded music: I think there are ways of experiencing music that are quite different. I'm talking about the full album, at a good bit rate, or even on CD/vinyl. I buy most of my music because I like the packaging for the vinyl, like for The National's High Violet. It's gorgeous. I'm willing to drop $20 for that, because it looks nice and sounds warm. So that's the most obvious: the purchased, recorded music. But the bands makes almost nothing off of that. That's not really what I'm getting into today. Still, I love having physical copies. iTunes, emusic, amazon and others all fall into this category. It's the high quality, real recording, and you're getting what the band, mixer, producer and engineer have decided is the best representation of these songs. But it's just a reproduction, all the same, of the real thing, and it doesn't stand up to having the band actually play it for you. But we wouldn't steal this, would we?
Another experience most of us have had is going to a concert. This is entirely different. There are lots of variables, but my rating of concerts is another discussion. Assuming it's a mellow crowd, you're not sick and the sound quality is good and not too loud, a well-performed concert is many, many times more enjoyable than a recording at home. I've seen bands as big and accomplished as Radiohead and bands as small as Sybris blow me away. But imagine the collective cost for once concert, assuming it's a moderate club (500 to 1000 people) at $20 a ticket. That's 10 to 20 thousand dollars. Pretty steep price, right? It's a shared experience, which often makes it even better. I think it's funny that people will steal music left and right from the internet, but will gladly pay sixty bones to go see Lady Gaga. That's interesting and also kind of crazy, I think, and not just because I'd never pay to see Lady Gaga. But anyway: a live concert is seeing performers/artists you love, playing songs you adore and with a full, raw, room-enveloping sound. I love concerts.
I think the third major way is a download from the internet, especially if it's just a few songs from an album. I don't believe in having anything on my iPod that has just a few songs from an album, except for a couple very rare exceptions. But I've been through tons of iPods that have just a few songs from albums, even great albums. And usually these folks compress their songs down to 64 kbps or at most, 128 kbps. That, in my not-so-humble opinion, is not experiencing all recorded music has to offer. It's like a photocopy of a painting. It's a cheaper experience, and it's just kind of hanging around in the background, not offering as much. And these people usually have 3 or 4 times as much music as I have, with hundreds of artists and thousands of albums, and haven't listened to 80% of it.
Hope that all made sense. Here's how I think it translates to art:
So, like a decent quality recording, we have a print. Could be a painting, a pressing, graphic art, a photograph, whatever. We pay the cost (it's pricier to print/reproduce these much of the time, so naturally many are pricier than $20) to have it hanging on the walls of our homes, and most wouldn't dream of stealing these from anywhere, just like we'd never steal a CD or an LP from a record store.
An actual painting costs much, much more. Which is fair. Just like a band is pulling in 10 to 20 thousand dollars for one concert in a smaller venue, an artist will sell a unique piece to an individual or a gallery or whatever for a pretty hefty sum. But, like a concert, you can see much more detail, much more of the work that went into it. And it's still a shared experience, especially in a gallery. But who would ever steal this? Pretty much nobody we know is an art thief, but that's the only kind of thief that's cool, in my opinion. Not that theft is cool. But if someone handed me a business card that said "Art Thief," I'd want to hang around this person because he probably has awesome stories. Moving on.
Then there's the crappy stuff you can yank from the internet. I work as a graphic designer, so most of the time I'm using photographs strangers have taken and generously given to the internet. We have our background images on our desktops, some picture we thought was cool and printed out, whatever. Even paying $2.50 for the 5" by 7" of some painting falls into this category, I think. But most have no qualms about using some piece of original artwork this way. I sometimes have cover art of albums I love as desktop backgrounds. It's totally okay in our heads, and we don't give a thought to paying for a download of some piece of art we like. I don't think such a service even exists.
This isn't about what's okay to steal and what's not. And I've left some stuff out, I know. A lot of people download high quality music from torrent websites, but the people that really care about the bit rate of their mp3s are usually pretty into having a respectable music collection. I would know (I usually "borrow" an album for a bit until I decide to buy it, most recently Menomena and J Dilla).
What I do find interesting is how analogous music and art are, as far as what we're willing to pay for and what we think is okay to snake from the internet, as well as how we experience them. I would never hide a CD under my shirt and walk out of a store, and I'd never steal a print from wherever such things are sold. I snuck into a concert once because it was sold out, but I made up for it to some degree by buying t-shirts and drinks from the venue. Sorry, concert venue. I won't do it again, I was 17 and foolish. But in the other 40 or so concerts I've attended, I've contributed to the total price of the performance along with everybody else. And most people don't sneak into concerts. They accept the price, pay it, despite the ridiculous service charges, and have a lovely time.
Yet, we find it completely okay to just take stuff off the internet. Well, most folks my age do, and all the way up to 5 to 10 years older than me. I don't see that as a bad thing. I think an artist would say, cool, more people are seeing what I've made, and even though it's not at a good quality, it's nice to get seen by a lot of people. And music is the same way, I think. I would rarely buy albums or go to concerts if I hadn't listened to the album at least a few times beforehand. There are some rare exceptions, but the albums have to be very, very highly rated. I did it more in high school, when I would quest through used CD bins. I've been hosed with that before, though. But the bands should be glad. Because once I'm in their camp, I want people to come to concerts with me, to buy the album, whatever. Their name is much more widespread
I have to stop myself from going further down the whole illegal downloading thing. But I do think it's curious how the visual art world and the music world relate, even though they are very different in other ways. So, with this fairly new medium, the internet, we've democratically decided what is worth paying for, and what isn't. I think that's pretty much what it comes down to. We have essentially formed a rugged "pay what you want" system for music, and put a value on the experience. One person will pay $10 to $20 for a physical copy or a legal download; a group of people will pay thousands to share the experience of live music, and individuals will take cheap, sometimes mangled copies of albums. I don't really think it's a bad system. I'm sure the record companies think it sucks, but I don't want to hand out $10 to find out that Vampire Weekend isn't my cup of tea.
Also: there are a ton of concerts coming up this fall. Start buying tickets. Sonic Youth, Jonsi, Surfer Blood, Phoenix, Menomena, Pavement (well, it's in Colorado, but I'm going), Sufjan Stevens, and more. I get tired of empty venues in Utah. I once saw the Walkmen back in '06, and they played a blisteringly good show to a very poorly-attended venue. So go support the bands you love, whose music you may or may not have paid for in the past.
So the other day I was thinking a bunch about illegal downloading of music, concerts and actual, physical pieces of art. And how to correlate the theft of those things.
Well, we all know paintings are super valuable, as there is only one original. But I think music and the visual art world have some similarities.
First, recorded music: I think there are ways of experiencing music that are quite different. I'm talking about the full album, at a good bit rate, or even on CD/vinyl. I buy most of my music because I like the packaging for the vinyl, like for The National's High Violet. It's gorgeous. I'm willing to drop $20 for that, because it looks nice and sounds warm. So that's the most obvious: the purchased, recorded music. But the bands makes almost nothing off of that. That's not really what I'm getting into today. Still, I love having physical copies. iTunes, emusic, amazon and others all fall into this category. It's the high quality, real recording, and you're getting what the band, mixer, producer and engineer have decided is the best representation of these songs. But it's just a reproduction, all the same, of the real thing, and it doesn't stand up to having the band actually play it for you. But we wouldn't steal this, would we?
Another experience most of us have had is going to a concert. This is entirely different. There are lots of variables, but my rating of concerts is another discussion. Assuming it's a mellow crowd, you're not sick and the sound quality is good and not too loud, a well-performed concert is many, many times more enjoyable than a recording at home. I've seen bands as big and accomplished as Radiohead and bands as small as Sybris blow me away. But imagine the collective cost for once concert, assuming it's a moderate club (500 to 1000 people) at $20 a ticket. That's 10 to 20 thousand dollars. Pretty steep price, right? It's a shared experience, which often makes it even better. I think it's funny that people will steal music left and right from the internet, but will gladly pay sixty bones to go see Lady Gaga. That's interesting and also kind of crazy, I think, and not just because I'd never pay to see Lady Gaga. But anyway: a live concert is seeing performers/artists you love, playing songs you adore and with a full, raw, room-enveloping sound. I love concerts.
I think the third major way is a download from the internet, especially if it's just a few songs from an album. I don't believe in having anything on my iPod that has just a few songs from an album, except for a couple very rare exceptions. But I've been through tons of iPods that have just a few songs from albums, even great albums. And usually these folks compress their songs down to 64 kbps or at most, 128 kbps. That, in my not-so-humble opinion, is not experiencing all recorded music has to offer. It's like a photocopy of a painting. It's a cheaper experience, and it's just kind of hanging around in the background, not offering as much. And these people usually have 3 or 4 times as much music as I have, with hundreds of artists and thousands of albums, and haven't listened to 80% of it.
Hope that all made sense. Here's how I think it translates to art:
So, like a decent quality recording, we have a print. Could be a painting, a pressing, graphic art, a photograph, whatever. We pay the cost (it's pricier to print/reproduce these much of the time, so naturally many are pricier than $20) to have it hanging on the walls of our homes, and most wouldn't dream of stealing these from anywhere, just like we'd never steal a CD or an LP from a record store.
An actual painting costs much, much more. Which is fair. Just like a band is pulling in 10 to 20 thousand dollars for one concert in a smaller venue, an artist will sell a unique piece to an individual or a gallery or whatever for a pretty hefty sum. But, like a concert, you can see much more detail, much more of the work that went into it. And it's still a shared experience, especially in a gallery. But who would ever steal this? Pretty much nobody we know is an art thief, but that's the only kind of thief that's cool, in my opinion. Not that theft is cool. But if someone handed me a business card that said "Art Thief," I'd want to hang around this person because he probably has awesome stories. Moving on.
Then there's the crappy stuff you can yank from the internet. I work as a graphic designer, so most of the time I'm using photographs strangers have taken and generously given to the internet. We have our background images on our desktops, some picture we thought was cool and printed out, whatever. Even paying $2.50 for the 5" by 7" of some painting falls into this category, I think. But most have no qualms about using some piece of original artwork this way. I sometimes have cover art of albums I love as desktop backgrounds. It's totally okay in our heads, and we don't give a thought to paying for a download of some piece of art we like. I don't think such a service even exists.
This isn't about what's okay to steal and what's not. And I've left some stuff out, I know. A lot of people download high quality music from torrent websites, but the people that really care about the bit rate of their mp3s are usually pretty into having a respectable music collection. I would know (I usually "borrow" an album for a bit until I decide to buy it, most recently Menomena and J Dilla).
What I do find interesting is how analogous music and art are, as far as what we're willing to pay for and what we think is okay to snake from the internet, as well as how we experience them. I would never hide a CD under my shirt and walk out of a store, and I'd never steal a print from wherever such things are sold. I snuck into a concert once because it was sold out, but I made up for it to some degree by buying t-shirts and drinks from the venue. Sorry, concert venue. I won't do it again, I was 17 and foolish. But in the other 40 or so concerts I've attended, I've contributed to the total price of the performance along with everybody else. And most people don't sneak into concerts. They accept the price, pay it, despite the ridiculous service charges, and have a lovely time.
Yet, we find it completely okay to just take stuff off the internet. Well, most folks my age do, and all the way up to 5 to 10 years older than me. I don't see that as a bad thing. I think an artist would say, cool, more people are seeing what I've made, and even though it's not at a good quality, it's nice to get seen by a lot of people. And music is the same way, I think. I would rarely buy albums or go to concerts if I hadn't listened to the album at least a few times beforehand. There are some rare exceptions, but the albums have to be very, very highly rated. I did it more in high school, when I would quest through used CD bins. I've been hosed with that before, though. But the bands should be glad. Because once I'm in their camp, I want people to come to concerts with me, to buy the album, whatever. Their name is much more widespread
I have to stop myself from going further down the whole illegal downloading thing. But I do think it's curious how the visual art world and the music world relate, even though they are very different in other ways. So, with this fairly new medium, the internet, we've democratically decided what is worth paying for, and what isn't. I think that's pretty much what it comes down to. We have essentially formed a rugged "pay what you want" system for music, and put a value on the experience. One person will pay $10 to $20 for a physical copy or a legal download; a group of people will pay thousands to share the experience of live music, and individuals will take cheap, sometimes mangled copies of albums. I don't really think it's a bad system. I'm sure the record companies think it sucks, but I don't want to hand out $10 to find out that Vampire Weekend isn't my cup of tea.
Also: there are a ton of concerts coming up this fall. Start buying tickets. Sonic Youth, Jonsi, Surfer Blood, Phoenix, Menomena, Pavement (well, it's in Colorado, but I'm going), Sufjan Stevens, and more. I get tired of empty venues in Utah. I once saw the Walkmen back in '06, and they played a blisteringly good show to a very poorly-attended venue. So go support the bands you love, whose music you may or may not have paid for in the past.
Friday, August 6, 2010
Inception - Carpe Diem
So, I've now seen Inception twice. The first time I saw it, I knew I hadn't seen it enough times to give it a fair review, but I was really impressed by a lot of things. But after seeing it a second time, I can see why it's so universally beloved: the movie is amazing. And I need to see it a couple more times (not in theatres, I'm not made of cash) to get more of it.
Spoilers are probably ahead, so, deal with that as you will, brave reader.
I watch movies that are highly regarded/recommended, and about 5 to 6 out of 10 movies I see are movies I want to see again at some point. And I like different kinds of movies - character dramas, a good suspense thriller, movies with really clever writing/dialogue, dry humor, a solid action flick, and I'm a sucker for most superhero movies. And I had no idea what to expect with Inception. And I don't like hype, so I tried to ignore what people were specifically saying about this movie, other than that it was awesome. And Inception was not what I expected from Christopher Nolan, filmmaker extraordinaire.
The Dark Knight is intense, and for me, exhausting. And it is really good. But it's a difficult film to sit through because the stress on all characters is continually being ratcheted up. At the end, we see Batman drive off into the unknown, promising that he will be whatever Gotham needs him to be. And that's some real character catharsis, and I can get behind that. Inception does not have that.
Inception has characters, but I don't think they're the main focus. And the purity of the motives of each character - all gray areas. Young Fischer is neither good nor bad, same with Seito, Cobb, Arthur, Eames, Ariadne, et cetera. They have their motivations and plans, but I think Nolan wants us to be Cobb. And I think at the end, Cobb ends up in reality. So that's why I think the movie is as good as it is, and I'll get into that. But I think the interpretation is open, a theme I find similar to Life of Pi, a book I adore.
As I watched the movie the second time, I kept trying to piece together more plot details and figure out what was real and what wasn't. Well, I didn't get much further, so I abandoned that because I already made my decision the first time - the totem will fall right after the screen goes black, and Cobb is in reality. Done. Instead I focused on the levels of metaphor sunken into the film. I love when Cobb is talking to Ariadne inside Cobb's dream, when he's on the beach and his wife is playing with their kids on the sand. And I wish I could quote what they were saying, but I remember thinking this: we come to the movies to dream out a part of our lives that can never be, a part that we imagine and have thrills in, just like Cobb has his dreams of his wife. And I know that one of Inception's themes is how a movie is a shared dream for the audience.
This moment was pretty affecting for me. I love leaving movies feeling energized and superhuman - when I was a kid and watched Star Wars, I felt like I could throw stuff around with my hands and wield a lightsaber, and I was pretty sure I was invincible for at least a few minutes. I guess I'm still a kid, because for a few moments I've been Jason Bourne, or Danny Ocean, or the Fantastic Mr. Fox himself, at least in my mind. And I think I see what Nolan was pointing out - we leave the movies seeing a bigger dream, one we wish we were in sometimes (not that I want to be a heist criminal, a suit-wearing fox or a special agent turned fugitive), at least in some aspects. I want to be as clever, as agile, as keen, and sometimes I leave a movie feeling like my own version of the characters.
That was one highlight in the film. But that's probably not quite halfway through, and the next 90 or so minutes are so tense, so packed with action and stress. I was glad I knew what would happen the second time around, because the first time I was literally on the edge of my seat in a packed theatre hoping it would all work out somehow.
One of my major gripes the first time through Inception was the lack of catharsis. Cobb said that Fischer needed it so that the idea could be planted, and I thought it terribly ironic that Nolan stole our collective cathartic experience - we don't feel very relieved when Cobb is finally back with his kids. But I watched Cobb more closely the second time. And this is where it became key for me to feel that the movie ends in reality - Cobb lets go of his wife. He decides to give up his guilt and strife and move on. He has to confront his shadow of a spouse twice, finally reaching Seito and bringing them back up the levels into reality on the plane. So it wasn't really about Cobb reaching his kids, or Nolan would have emphasized that.
The irony shifted a lot for me when I (think I) realized what Nolan was saying. We can't keep living in our dream world, our lack of reality and float out there. And so it wasn't about catharsis within a particular character like it was with the Dark Knight. Nolan doesn't want us to feel great emotion for Cobb, I don't think. He was planting an idea into us, that we need to seize the day and get after it. And the way I say it is rather trite, but I'm not a writer. I'm not anything specific at this point anyway. But when Fischer Sr. tells Fischer Jr. that he's disappointed that his son would try to be like his father, I think that was Nolan telling us to quit trying to live in a dream world and to make the most of reality. And I found that ironic because earlier in the movie, I was on board with that love for the movies, and how we feel afterward. I felt like Nolan turned that thought around, directing us toward our own lives, futures, passions and responsibilities.
I doubt I could explain this like it played out in my mind during the last 30 minutes of the movie and as I was leaving the theatre. I want to grab a notebook and pen and dissect this until I can really nail down my thoughts. But until it's out on DVD, that's not much of an option because it's dark at the cinema, you know?
So anyway, I think the movie is masterful. Nolan and his crew are the inceptioneers (not a word, I know), and we are Fischer, in a sense. But we are also Cobb. Nolan is planting an idea in us, and he's trying to get it several layers deep and make it our own. A simple idea, like the one planted in Fischer Jr., but one we want to make a reality, so that we can change who we are. And the movie is rich on so many layers and is so well thought out that it will take repeat viewings to get it all. That's something I love. Usually I'm kinda peeved if a movie is overly complex and confusing (I'm looking at you, Quantum of Solace), but not this time. Like a good Radiohead album, there is a bunch to unearth. Oh, and the acting is good, the movie is beautiful, the special effects are lovely, the music is terrific and adds greatly to the mood, blah blah blah. Of course it is. Look at the cast, look who made the film, look who scored it. Not the point. This movie is great.
Inception, to me, is about an idea, and I love any movie that can plant a powerful idea in me, one that makes me want to change and grow. I love that in books as well, but I think it's more rare in movies. I feel like Inception was for more than entertainment, it was for some serious inspiration. So this movie is at least a 95/100 for me at this point. Go see it if you can handle some stress and tension.
Spoilers are probably ahead, so, deal with that as you will, brave reader.
I watch movies that are highly regarded/recommended, and about 5 to 6 out of 10 movies I see are movies I want to see again at some point. And I like different kinds of movies - character dramas, a good suspense thriller, movies with really clever writing/dialogue, dry humor, a solid action flick, and I'm a sucker for most superhero movies. And I had no idea what to expect with Inception. And I don't like hype, so I tried to ignore what people were specifically saying about this movie, other than that it was awesome. And Inception was not what I expected from Christopher Nolan, filmmaker extraordinaire.
The Dark Knight is intense, and for me, exhausting. And it is really good. But it's a difficult film to sit through because the stress on all characters is continually being ratcheted up. At the end, we see Batman drive off into the unknown, promising that he will be whatever Gotham needs him to be. And that's some real character catharsis, and I can get behind that. Inception does not have that.
Inception has characters, but I don't think they're the main focus. And the purity of the motives of each character - all gray areas. Young Fischer is neither good nor bad, same with Seito, Cobb, Arthur, Eames, Ariadne, et cetera. They have their motivations and plans, but I think Nolan wants us to be Cobb. And I think at the end, Cobb ends up in reality. So that's why I think the movie is as good as it is, and I'll get into that. But I think the interpretation is open, a theme I find similar to Life of Pi, a book I adore.
As I watched the movie the second time, I kept trying to piece together more plot details and figure out what was real and what wasn't. Well, I didn't get much further, so I abandoned that because I already made my decision the first time - the totem will fall right after the screen goes black, and Cobb is in reality. Done. Instead I focused on the levels of metaphor sunken into the film. I love when Cobb is talking to Ariadne inside Cobb's dream, when he's on the beach and his wife is playing with their kids on the sand. And I wish I could quote what they were saying, but I remember thinking this: we come to the movies to dream out a part of our lives that can never be, a part that we imagine and have thrills in, just like Cobb has his dreams of his wife. And I know that one of Inception's themes is how a movie is a shared dream for the audience.
This moment was pretty affecting for me. I love leaving movies feeling energized and superhuman - when I was a kid and watched Star Wars, I felt like I could throw stuff around with my hands and wield a lightsaber, and I was pretty sure I was invincible for at least a few minutes. I guess I'm still a kid, because for a few moments I've been Jason Bourne, or Danny Ocean, or the Fantastic Mr. Fox himself, at least in my mind. And I think I see what Nolan was pointing out - we leave the movies seeing a bigger dream, one we wish we were in sometimes (not that I want to be a heist criminal, a suit-wearing fox or a special agent turned fugitive), at least in some aspects. I want to be as clever, as agile, as keen, and sometimes I leave a movie feeling like my own version of the characters.
That was one highlight in the film. But that's probably not quite halfway through, and the next 90 or so minutes are so tense, so packed with action and stress. I was glad I knew what would happen the second time around, because the first time I was literally on the edge of my seat in a packed theatre hoping it would all work out somehow.
One of my major gripes the first time through Inception was the lack of catharsis. Cobb said that Fischer needed it so that the idea could be planted, and I thought it terribly ironic that Nolan stole our collective cathartic experience - we don't feel very relieved when Cobb is finally back with his kids. But I watched Cobb more closely the second time. And this is where it became key for me to feel that the movie ends in reality - Cobb lets go of his wife. He decides to give up his guilt and strife and move on. He has to confront his shadow of a spouse twice, finally reaching Seito and bringing them back up the levels into reality on the plane. So it wasn't really about Cobb reaching his kids, or Nolan would have emphasized that.
The irony shifted a lot for me when I (think I) realized what Nolan was saying. We can't keep living in our dream world, our lack of reality and float out there. And so it wasn't about catharsis within a particular character like it was with the Dark Knight. Nolan doesn't want us to feel great emotion for Cobb, I don't think. He was planting an idea into us, that we need to seize the day and get after it. And the way I say it is rather trite, but I'm not a writer. I'm not anything specific at this point anyway. But when Fischer Sr. tells Fischer Jr. that he's disappointed that his son would try to be like his father, I think that was Nolan telling us to quit trying to live in a dream world and to make the most of reality. And I found that ironic because earlier in the movie, I was on board with that love for the movies, and how we feel afterward. I felt like Nolan turned that thought around, directing us toward our own lives, futures, passions and responsibilities.
I doubt I could explain this like it played out in my mind during the last 30 minutes of the movie and as I was leaving the theatre. I want to grab a notebook and pen and dissect this until I can really nail down my thoughts. But until it's out on DVD, that's not much of an option because it's dark at the cinema, you know?
So anyway, I think the movie is masterful. Nolan and his crew are the inceptioneers (not a word, I know), and we are Fischer, in a sense. But we are also Cobb. Nolan is planting an idea in us, and he's trying to get it several layers deep and make it our own. A simple idea, like the one planted in Fischer Jr., but one we want to make a reality, so that we can change who we are. And the movie is rich on so many layers and is so well thought out that it will take repeat viewings to get it all. That's something I love. Usually I'm kinda peeved if a movie is overly complex and confusing (I'm looking at you, Quantum of Solace), but not this time. Like a good Radiohead album, there is a bunch to unearth. Oh, and the acting is good, the movie is beautiful, the special effects are lovely, the music is terrific and adds greatly to the mood, blah blah blah. Of course it is. Look at the cast, look who made the film, look who scored it. Not the point. This movie is great.
Inception, to me, is about an idea, and I love any movie that can plant a powerful idea in me, one that makes me want to change and grow. I love that in books as well, but I think it's more rare in movies. I feel like Inception was for more than entertainment, it was for some serious inspiration. So this movie is at least a 95/100 for me at this point. Go see it if you can handle some stress and tension.
Monday, July 12, 2010
Books 'n' stuff
I have no idea what I'm going to use this blog for. Something positive, I hope. Probably just to talk about stuff I like. You'll get to read into my brain way too much by reading it, but that's part of the adventure.
So, I love books. I forget how much I love them sometimes. Today I sat down and read the entirety of "Perks of Being a Wallflower" in about 4 hours, taking brief stops to make brownies and deliver them. I haven't read a piece of fiction since I read "The Road" by Cormac McCarthy, which was kind of a terrifying book. And that was kind of awhile ago. I got on a nonfiction kick for awhile. Brain Training for Runners? Good book in an entirely different way.
What I really loved about this book was how well the characters stood out, and how they were real and grew and developed, and how relatable they all were. I'm pretty different from the main character, Charlie, in many ways, but he's a great protagonist and it was a very enticing read. I'm not here to dissect the book and review it. I'm not that good. But I love what it did. I love books and movies about intelligent people that grow and develop to become better. I love that Charlie was a 4.0 student, not a straggler who failed because he was different. I loved that his family seemed real, and that they were normal and he didn't have some crazy abusive parents. I love that he loved his family. So many books and movies and TV shows are about families that just plain suck and are broken and have no love in them, and Charlie lived in a pretty regular situation. Not amazing, just normal. And I think that's great.
It's a book that stops you in your place, makes you analyze the way you look at people, contemplate why you see things the way you do, and hopefully change as a result. That's what good books ought to do. I'm just rambling about this book, and I suggest you read it to see what I mean. Plus, it's great that Protagonist Charlie liked good music. I got on a Sonic Youth kick listening to it just so I could listen to stuff created around the same time (it takes place in 1991-92) period.
What I really found interesting, and something that kind of relates to the material in the book, is how we feel when we recommend something to someone. I love music. Let me repeat: I LOVE music. So much. I don't know the most about it, I'm a joke when it comes to music theory, and the most I can do on guitar is bang out a simple Modest Mouse track. But my love for music knows almost no bounds, and I've listened to some of my favorite albums over 500 times (pretty good for a 22-year-old). And I thought about how I don't try to force my taste on other people. I don't recommend stuff to people who won't love an album I love, even if our tastes are similar. I don't want then to mistrust my taste because I sent a misguided choice their way, and I don't want them to underappreciate an album I adore. And I almost never take people up on a recommendation to listen to a band or album I haven't already heard good things about from a reputable source (and there are almost none of those). But this is completely different with books.
I don't know why this is. Books worm their way into my heart much more quickly (4 hours? Yeah, I can't think of any albums I adore that got serious praise from me in 4 playthroughs, no matter how classic), and I trust way more people when it comes to books. A girl I just met told me I ought to read this book with the warning that I may find it weird. Well, I found some spots a bit uncomfortable for someone as conservative and Christian as I am, honestly, but I thought overall it was quite good. And I don't get why it's so much easier to fall in love with a book. Well I probably do. I just think it's strange is all. A good friend told me to read The Road, and you know what? It was a tough read. It was so bleak that I had a tough time seeing and feeling the father/son connection. Instead of standing out like a diamond amongst coal, it felt like a star obscured by clouds in the night sky. And my buddy and I discussed this and it was understood, and I could see how his point was valid and he saw why I felt the way I did. But man, when it comes to an album I love, or one I really don't, validity is hard to come by. Another example is a pal who loves, loves music, and in a way similar to me. But he cannot get into Modest Mouse's The Moon and Antarctica. Modest Mouse has declined since this album, but TMaA is one of the best albums of 2000-2009. I think it supersedes opinion and is straight fact. Its depth is amazing, the lyrics are thoughtful and provocative in a lot of ways, and sometimes downright touching. And I love the songcraft. But my friend? He can't see what I see in it really at all. But a book? Well, I feel like there's always some common ground. It's just curious.
It takes me a long time to get to a real point, which you've probably noticed if you've read anything I've written for this blog. Okay, there are only two posts prior to this.
Maybe it's a good thing that we can more easily share books with each other than music. Or maybe that's just me. These are just my random musings anyway, and I'm not sure who'll be bothered to read a post this long. But do yourself a favor and read some good books, watch some good movies and listen to some wonderful music. I think the book I just read is great, and I just finished listening to Yo La Tengo's album from '97, "I Can Hear the Heart Beating as One." That's a good listen.
Well, even though we may not be able to always see eye to eye on taste in entertainment or whatever, I think we can listen more intently and read with more purpose. It's when folks get lazy that I get annoyed. When they won't take the time to try out a new track or album because it's "weird." Come on! It took me forever to love Radiohead's Kid A for what it is. But when we can articulate why we love what we love, then that's enough. But the apathy? That kills the culture. There's so much out amazing content out there to love and appreciate, but most folks are okay with uninspired mediocrity. Which is their right and that's great, but why leave it at that?
Best thing about this book? It made me want to do stuff, to work hard and move forward in my life. That's what great works of creativity should do. I plan to attend grad school at some place awesome starting in fall of 2013, but the motivation to get the necessary grades isn't easy to come by. Sometimes it just takes a good book. Too bad I'm not in school right now, otherwise I'd capitalize.
So I think I'll keep trying to be more frequent in my posts until I feel like I've figured out how to write this blog in a way I like, and be consistent instead of random and not post for months at a time. Life's great. Keep at it.
So, I love books. I forget how much I love them sometimes. Today I sat down and read the entirety of "Perks of Being a Wallflower" in about 4 hours, taking brief stops to make brownies and deliver them. I haven't read a piece of fiction since I read "The Road" by Cormac McCarthy, which was kind of a terrifying book. And that was kind of awhile ago. I got on a nonfiction kick for awhile. Brain Training for Runners? Good book in an entirely different way.
What I really loved about this book was how well the characters stood out, and how they were real and grew and developed, and how relatable they all were. I'm pretty different from the main character, Charlie, in many ways, but he's a great protagonist and it was a very enticing read. I'm not here to dissect the book and review it. I'm not that good. But I love what it did. I love books and movies about intelligent people that grow and develop to become better. I love that Charlie was a 4.0 student, not a straggler who failed because he was different. I loved that his family seemed real, and that they were normal and he didn't have some crazy abusive parents. I love that he loved his family. So many books and movies and TV shows are about families that just plain suck and are broken and have no love in them, and Charlie lived in a pretty regular situation. Not amazing, just normal. And I think that's great.
It's a book that stops you in your place, makes you analyze the way you look at people, contemplate why you see things the way you do, and hopefully change as a result. That's what good books ought to do. I'm just rambling about this book, and I suggest you read it to see what I mean. Plus, it's great that Protagonist Charlie liked good music. I got on a Sonic Youth kick listening to it just so I could listen to stuff created around the same time (it takes place in 1991-92) period.
What I really found interesting, and something that kind of relates to the material in the book, is how we feel when we recommend something to someone. I love music. Let me repeat: I LOVE music. So much. I don't know the most about it, I'm a joke when it comes to music theory, and the most I can do on guitar is bang out a simple Modest Mouse track. But my love for music knows almost no bounds, and I've listened to some of my favorite albums over 500 times (pretty good for a 22-year-old). And I thought about how I don't try to force my taste on other people. I don't recommend stuff to people who won't love an album I love, even if our tastes are similar. I don't want then to mistrust my taste because I sent a misguided choice their way, and I don't want them to underappreciate an album I adore. And I almost never take people up on a recommendation to listen to a band or album I haven't already heard good things about from a reputable source (and there are almost none of those). But this is completely different with books.
I don't know why this is. Books worm their way into my heart much more quickly (4 hours? Yeah, I can't think of any albums I adore that got serious praise from me in 4 playthroughs, no matter how classic), and I trust way more people when it comes to books. A girl I just met told me I ought to read this book with the warning that I may find it weird. Well, I found some spots a bit uncomfortable for someone as conservative and Christian as I am, honestly, but I thought overall it was quite good. And I don't get why it's so much easier to fall in love with a book. Well I probably do. I just think it's strange is all. A good friend told me to read The Road, and you know what? It was a tough read. It was so bleak that I had a tough time seeing and feeling the father/son connection. Instead of standing out like a diamond amongst coal, it felt like a star obscured by clouds in the night sky. And my buddy and I discussed this and it was understood, and I could see how his point was valid and he saw why I felt the way I did. But man, when it comes to an album I love, or one I really don't, validity is hard to come by. Another example is a pal who loves, loves music, and in a way similar to me. But he cannot get into Modest Mouse's The Moon and Antarctica. Modest Mouse has declined since this album, but TMaA is one of the best albums of 2000-2009. I think it supersedes opinion and is straight fact. Its depth is amazing, the lyrics are thoughtful and provocative in a lot of ways, and sometimes downright touching. And I love the songcraft. But my friend? He can't see what I see in it really at all. But a book? Well, I feel like there's always some common ground. It's just curious.
It takes me a long time to get to a real point, which you've probably noticed if you've read anything I've written for this blog. Okay, there are only two posts prior to this.
Maybe it's a good thing that we can more easily share books with each other than music. Or maybe that's just me. These are just my random musings anyway, and I'm not sure who'll be bothered to read a post this long. But do yourself a favor and read some good books, watch some good movies and listen to some wonderful music. I think the book I just read is great, and I just finished listening to Yo La Tengo's album from '97, "I Can Hear the Heart Beating as One." That's a good listen.
Well, even though we may not be able to always see eye to eye on taste in entertainment or whatever, I think we can listen more intently and read with more purpose. It's when folks get lazy that I get annoyed. When they won't take the time to try out a new track or album because it's "weird." Come on! It took me forever to love Radiohead's Kid A for what it is. But when we can articulate why we love what we love, then that's enough. But the apathy? That kills the culture. There's so much out amazing content out there to love and appreciate, but most folks are okay with uninspired mediocrity. Which is their right and that's great, but why leave it at that?
Best thing about this book? It made me want to do stuff, to work hard and move forward in my life. That's what great works of creativity should do. I plan to attend grad school at some place awesome starting in fall of 2013, but the motivation to get the necessary grades isn't easy to come by. Sometimes it just takes a good book. Too bad I'm not in school right now, otherwise I'd capitalize.
So I think I'll keep trying to be more frequent in my posts until I feel like I've figured out how to write this blog in a way I like, and be consistent instead of random and not post for months at a time. Life's great. Keep at it.
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